Running with tap water

Just an impatient attempt to move a foot forward leaving me in confusion
once again. Letting go of simplicity in this life relieves the burden
that I may had carried or found by myself. Perhaps I just lost sight of
my goal since my main aim had been clouded by a thousand thoughts
sighing all the time. I did not learn my lesson well enough since I have
been foolishly repeating the similar events over and over again causing
internal harm to myself. Suppose I am already back in my small empty
shed within me, what should I do to proceed in success. In my mind,
still screaming real loud hoping in reaching its destination which was
not even there in the first place. Misfiring my true sight of my
objective is the main failure in my life so far. I blame myself for
being weak to temptations. I been this way all this life. Enjoying was
just not a real part of it. I might be enjoying but it has not reached
the maximum limit since there is no one little thing which excites me up
to 100% just yet. Hoping to look for it, i dwell upon the empty hut for
a very long duration. Another sigh came along, just another stranger
which I look up upon again, hoping for not to repeat but failure to do
so again, I fall into the dark hole of absorption. Being led into the
failure route, I wanted to be stronger to take another turn to become
someone much different. Instead of taking weaknesses as a weakness,
should I try harder to think positively until the weaknesses is well
hidden deep within me. Hopefully, to be discovered it would not be that
simple. It is just for you. Just for you to know sometimes but not all
the time. Letting go of this shattered dream, I am now at lost once
again.

10.02pm 26 November 2008