4 seasons of emotion

A wake of spring,
Moment of wondering,
Can't stop worrying,
Will soon be covering.

Just like passing summer,
Another path to slumber,
Unlike running number,
Just another feather.

In the eve of autumn,
Lies a tear drop within,
Always there in isolation,
Broken like no return.

Far from winter,
Turning on the heater,
Strong without quiver,
Just an emotion breaker.

12.32am 1 November 2008

Haha?

8.26am 28 October 2008

Wrongly wired?

This system is highly wired. Unsure of which leads to which, you tell me. Is short circuit possible in such a case? If they aren't insulated and they are viewed from 1-D orientation.

9.37am 26 October 2008

My life is such a fairy tale

Some wise guy came up to me telling me this in my dream last night. Perhaps I was knocked unconscious and was told so much which I am already knowing and not practicing. I am still living a lie.


Thinking is done by your brain and not by your emotions.


Thinking alone won't help you unless you put some emotions into it or else people might mark you as cold blooded.


Feeling secure is a feeling of being great but insecure makes you like falling apart so, do not hope for too much in life, just wish simple and live simple and everything will be smooth going.


A trouble comes along the path which lies ahead of you and you are seeking an escape? No, go ahead and move along and FACE it. Perhaps there are a few valuable lessons needed to be learnt from there.


Who knows what you can do when your emotions are overpowering you which make everything you do is made possible.


I wonder if there is a sudden surge in high bi-electric voltage when your emotions are running high.


Turning emotional is not about being an outcast in society but turning into more understanding of yourself.


"In short, what you are doing is what you are. There is no such thing as an inner self of you. Even there is, your current self is doing a good job keeping him there. So, be happy about things are now and move along a path which was created by you. Don't think of it as fate but as what you want and what it is supposed to be in your mind. Fate is just another reason to escape from reality. You should be wise enough to be a realist and remove all those negative thoughts from your mind. You are just hiding them. It is a matter of time before you can let them all out."



9.22am 26 October 2008

The path

The path I follow. You were not part of it. Blue drops are tried to be avoided. But together it will be the blue circle in life. As dark as it may seem, it will never be as red as when you are alone. To be known just yet. A dark path of being happy.

8.56am 26 October 2008

Anything can be done.

Facing papers after papers is not a problem but facing them with the need of tremendous amount of energy need to be spent on them which is the tricky part. Just to tell myself a few things,

1) I wont be going down!!

2) I can DO IT!!

3) Impossible - I "M" POSSIBLE!!

4) Its not that I can do IT but I AM DOING IT and ACING IT..

5) Just hang on...its a bit more till the end of the tunnel.

Colours of life

It is random and I have no idea why is this picture here but it is just here...Perhaps its by fate.

12.04am 25 October 2008

A mysterious conversation

Mind - Hey, I can feel the same torture as you.

Heart - Well, I guess we share the same pain since we are together as always ever since the creation.

Mind - Perhaps, you should learn how to express yourself and let go.

Heart - I was hoping that would be the key to all answers. Unfortunately, the only way to translate this into words is
through feelings as it is hard to express using myself alone.

Mind - Perhaps there is someone who can really help you out in this.

*Mind brought his friend, Mouth*

Mouth - You called me?

Mind - Yea yea... So would you like to help me out with the problem which our entire system is facing?

Mouth - Sure no problem.

Mind - I guess this friend of mine would be able to help you out with expressing in words.

*Mouth intepreted in term of words*

Mouth - This is difficult. Perhaps, I can't really help out.

Heart - Why not?

Mouth - You want to me to put it in words but something kept me resisting to say it out.

Mind - Who?!

Mouth - You!

Mind - What?! Me?

Mouth - Yea. You might not realised, but I can feel it. Both of you are conflicting each other.

Mind & Heart - What should we do now?

Mouth - You two choose. Both should come up with a conclusion and act upon it.

Mind & Heart - I guess that is the only route out.

*Seconds....Minutes....Hours...Days....Weeks....Months....Years......Silent it remained*

THE END

11.17pm 24 October 2008

Is action still louder than words?

It is something that is bothering me always....and I mean it always. Being able to do certain things to a certain limit is a bit frustrating as you felt tied up to a high density metal ball. It is not fun if you can't spend your energy to fill up someone's life with joy - either you and anyone around you.

If it is something in mind, have you need to say it out of needless to? Confused? Puzzled? Mixed feelings? Can't decide? Well, I guess things are just like that if things are not said. I am not sure if the statement " action speaks louder than words " works anymore in this kind of situation. Things are being done, but seems that it is not loud enough until being told. Perhaps human had already lost their sense of interpreting actions into words since most of the stuffs these days are swallowed down just by reading and studying. No longer analytical. Sadly. Can't be helped.

I do not know but expressing oneself is an important thing in life I believe. Failure to express will lead to the growth of frustration. That is the number one reason why our parents want us to pick up a language well enough for us to express ourself. Perhaps having more languages do help. Complicated crap. Deciding on something. Its just like a life and death thing everytime when you are given a chance to decide. This is really something important. Making decision. Important .... I guess...

11.57am 23 October 2008

I have no idea.

I have no idea what the hell is this but I am totally screwed...

11.24am 19 October 2008

Maths O.o

If any of you guys or gals out there wondering what the hell is MATHS B, well let me enlighten you with this illustration of mine as shown below :

WELL, TAAAADDAAAAAA!!!!!

9.57am 19 October 2008

So.........

I am having so much troubles these days. Why?

MATHS B

I feel so stress everytime just trying to imagine numbers. I am getting afraid of numbers. Damn.

So, What is it that you see? I have no idea why I do all these crap but I just simply do it. Its and art, a design, a stress relieving method perhaps. I am soooo dying soon....Terrible life....

8.52am 19 October 2008

HOPE bottles

Here are four bottles of HOPE. It is represented with 4 different bottles.



The HOPE can be represented as :

Hurdles
Obstacles
Problems
Entanglements

Wondering why are those initials stated so negatively. Allow me to explain.

Firstly,

Obtain 4 seperate bottles. Colour them to your desired colour. Make sure there are with caps.

Secondly,

Release your problems which troubles you or whichever thing which causes the worry and sadness or any other feelings which causes indefinate suffering to yourself by putting wishing stone into the capped bottle.

*Wishing stone - Selected pebble meant for you to keep your worries using your imagination*

Thirdly,

Throw it somewhere far away ensuring that it does not get back to you again

Fourthly,

Motivation should come as part of the bonus. For each negative point which is "thrown" away from your emotions and mind, you should find another reason to be happy about. Find it. I am sure you can find it. Just do things that makes you happy. Perhaps focus on some kind of sports and excel in it or maybe focus on your studies like a nerd. Depending on individuals.

Continue doing this by having seperate sets of bottles. Different batches. Perhaps my explaination is not good enough for your understanding. I can't provide a thorough and definate explaination to this but I can provide some hints on how this works. Hopefully, it will work this time.

^I saw this crap back in my dream world, I managed to find them nicely bottled up next to the sandy area covered with nice sand with tremendous amount of water on that day.I am confused still.^

1.34am 19 October 2008

Much more about me (revealed)

I just suddenly felt that I am too childish and I still hate myself.
Perhaps I am yet to discover myself in whichever way which can make me
feel contented. Perhaps I am just as useless as I think I am. Perhaps
the thinking had already taken over the best out of me and making me
feel this way and worst BE this way.

Thinking back to the past which I had once been looking into so
carefully previously, it is seen that many things which had happened.
Thinking again. I am no longer as useful as before. I am unable to do as
many stuffs which I once done. Where had all the motivation gone to?

Thinking back again. Seeing me learning a lot of knowledge in such a
short period of time. I still do not understand why am I wasting time
not doing anything. Knowledge is to be gain by effort. I really do
admire people who has that capabilities. I still do not know why am I
not YEARNING FOR IT and NOT WANTING IT. Deep inside I want it however my
mind tells me to slow down as I can get it without effort. I hate that
for myself. I hate that feeling. I want to make things happen with my
own effort. My own thoughts. My own ideas. My originality. Darn time is
passing me by as I type. Wasting again. What can be done? Perhaps I
should try to be glad that I am breathing till this point of time.

I just hate myself. Hating so hard that I am losing myself. Making
things so difficult for myself when everything is actually easy.
Thinking too much just make me feel a bit backwards. I do not want to
fall that badly this time. I am putting effort to making things work.
Why am I so lazy? Why can't I be the more hardworking person? I cannot
end like this. My parents will be so disappointed for the fact that I am
trying my best ONLY at the very last minute. Not from the beginning. How
long can I lie to myself? Tell me...How LONG?!!

I just kept wondering again. Wondering endlessly into the deep path
which had many split paths which leads me to confusion. The problem is
until this moment in time, I felt I have not know enough to stand on my
own. People are getting ready for the battle. I am just still learning
how to enter the battle field. Things are getting worst from what I can
see in mind. Why do I have such ability to see into the near future but
I am unable to express them out. Perhaps my ideas was not supported by
the knowledge which I am having up to this point of time.

I still hate myself. I quit learning hard stuffs when I was young. I am
not regreting. Hoping to pick them up slowly. I need to perform super
human task from now onwards. I can no longer sit back and relax and
enjoy a normal relaxable life. Why must this be? Why things that I
always yearn for always been so close this time and leaving me NOW? No
longer part of the grasp of my hand. Already gone. Far gone.

I am lost. Just so lost. Hoping to find a short path out from the
miserable maze. I am yet to find the perfect exit yet. I am yet to find any to be honest. So, what should I be doing now? What should I be DOING NOW?! You tell me. I can no longer hold back and tell myself. I am falling apart...breaking apart..I am just another pretender which have this double face. Facing people outside as a normal person. Looking back at myself from the inside. That is not really me. I do believe I can do better than this. I am just suffering so much that I felt like giving up this chance in life.

Miserable as it is. I just can't stop typing so much trash here. Perhaps I am already too tired and sick of lying to myself for such a long time. Faking things...it is so fake. I am not me..How can the perfect me show himself. Perhaps not perfect enough. I know this I know that, but seems that I did not put them in practical practice. It is as good as being nothing of those that I have in mind. Heart says want to go but physically my ass will put me down the chair and make it refuses to move.

Tired, sickening, fattening...I am at lost. Losing most of anything which includes nearly everything. Gosh

1.24pm 18 October 2008

Happy Birthday Girls! (Is this the final gathering?) T.T

Hey hey hey.. Been a while since I last step foot here to this blog. This is something I got yesterday. It is....a Birthdaysssss Party. October is finally here...and yea I feel older. But to be honest, I am still 19 today although I had the "bday party" cause mine is not here yet. YESH!!! I am YOUNG..hahaha..Well, it all started.... when I did not know how it started. I guess it so happen to be there. Birthdays are miracles so it does not require much explaination.

A picture of 3 October Babies...Oooo....

Gosh 2 pretty gals....*blush* haha....

Then, just before the end of the party, we imitated a few poses by our yet very cool KH. haha....First we started off by taking a DEEEEEEEP Breathe and we let it out by pushing forward our hand and pretend not to look at the camera.

There you go......*release breathing*....Cool enough?

Here there is more, a second imitation, the 7 right below your mouth, its simple, just put your hand forward from the first position above and then pull it back close to your mouth. MAKE SURE that you cover a part of your mouth when doing it.

And here you go again.....*As cool as it seems it can be*...You know what? .. My room suddenly feel a bit chilly now...hahahahah....

Up next, my buddies from the first day we set foot into Monash till forever hahaha...So emo man and on top of that I really do not know why all of us in black except one...It makes me wonder...Hrm...on top of that it is PINK...gosh.....XD

TCY, FJH,YWY,KOWL,KCY,SYSH

Hey hey hey...the show is not in the middle. The real show is next to the left hand side of the picture. Can't you notice the 3 CUTE people there...hahahaha...

Whats up people with that pose? haha....

At the end of a satisfying dinner will always ended up with a long list of bill which then make us regret for what we had eaten. Gosh oh gosh...LOOK AT THE PRICE...OMG..

Come come ...let me help you...don't strain your eyes too much =D it is stated there "RM581.65"

And finally, the finale.....I have no idea why but I find this picture totally out of the world....XD

Hey thats all folks, take my finger and go..."Take it and go" *RP slang, hahahahaha

Sorry but to break it but this is the last party before exam....AWWWW....

See you guys around in future and all the best...

9.22am 18 October 2008

* This is a special dedication to Hui Hui and Bao Li for their birthday. Happy birthday gals =D. Hope you girls enjoy it.

Sketches 3

Just someting randomly done again when I have some free time in between my breaks



Funny dream these days, been dreaming a lot

What can I say, that's the stuff I see at times, perhaps most of the time

Numbers, can you identify them? haha..

It took me quite some time to put up these pictures. Damn.

12.28am 13 October 2008

Sketches 2

These pictures are randomly drawn and by the feelings at the spur of the moment.

What the hell...TCY fault o.O

8.01am 6 October 2008

Untitled

Today left :

20 days =D

Leaving the past behind to start anew as I had forgotten what was it like to be previously.

1.12pm 4 October 2008

Just a reminder

Oh fellow dearest Chemical Students,

Welcome to the BLOG, yea you got that right...... "THE BLOG"..

HAHA

OKAY ... Here is the important announcement for today,

21 days left

For a magic to happen? LOL..Enjoy =D

6.20pm 3 October 2008

Designs

Here is something that I designed when I was SOOOOOO free during the holidays. Enjoy =D.

I think I just got a job as a designer for T-shirt. Contact me if you need someone to design something. What you see is only the tip of the ice berg..HAHA...

5.53pm 3 October 2008

Increased in gravity?

Again another dream. The gravity is getting stronger and stronger within our earth system. Is it cause the increase of temperature? Or is it cause of increase of global warming? Might sound stupid but I just put what I have in my dream. The usage of fossil fuels and other component made from solid and liquid within our earth will eventually make it into gas components. Good example, our daily petrol. Having increased numbers of molecules within the air will increase the pressure in the air. Increase in pressure leads to increase in temperature which I believe to increase the gravitational pull somehow. I do not know how. Don't ask me. It is my dream. I just wish to share with everyone around me. Launching objects out of orbit will reduce the gravity as less mass within the control volume (our earth), reducing the mass, reducing pressure, reducing temperature and thus reducing gravity. So the constant 9.81 above sea level MIGHT not be valid any longer..OMG what a dream...

9.27pm 2 October 2008

Time is moving faster

As years going by, we are moving faster and faster. Is it a feeling or is it a real thing? Thinking again, the universe is expanding thus, somehow time is going faster and faster. Everyday, waking up to a new day looking at my digital clock. Seems like there is a time lag from time to time or should i say from day to day. A few seconds does not hurt. But things are going oddly these days. This may due to certain physics theory which I am not well versed in. Its just a dream. Perhaps its just my dream. Perhaps, equation to calculate the end of the world is just within me which I did not realised. HAHA...I am crazy

9.22pm 2 October 2008